In the early hours of Easter Sunday, notoriously mischievous Bad Bunny was apprehended for impersonating with intention to defame. This latest apprehension has left many wondering when the accused will ever learn.
On said morning of arrest, Bad Bunny was found to be masquerading as the Easter Bunny and depositing in households across the neighbourhood small brown nuggets, made not of chocolate, but of a composition of Bad Bunny’s own making. Lab test are yet to determine exact composition but "Nursery staff have their suspicions" - our sources tell us.
Upon capture, Bad Bunny confessed to the attempted deception stating he found the Easter Bunny a "rather overrated example of the Leporidae family" and believed "his gift giving to be a rather pathetic attempt to win the affections of children".
Bad Bunny also stated, via his agents (aka Au Pair Jennine and Au Pair Shannon) from his position of custodial containment the following points in his defence:
- The Easter Bunny is contributing in a very real way to the wealth of the dental and orthodontic professions and could quite possibly be involved in a corporate conspiracy.
- The Easter Bunny is the sole reason for the ongoing annoyance of what is commonly referred to as "Reality TV" by keeping afloat the likes of such viewing pap as "The Biggest Loser" which hinges almost it's entire premise on the existence of chocolate. Not only is the Easter Bunny contributing to the shameful displays of greed, but also, to the shameful "dumbing" down of the viewing public by enabling the existence of such tripe.
- Bad Bunny would ask of the public this: "Would the Easter Bunny indeed be so popular if he did not bestow gifts of chocolate with such gay abandon?" His spokespeople went on to say "Some could also say that said gift giving to minorities could be deemed as the act of a stranger filled with ill intent, perhaps one could even go so far as to say his endeavours could be seen as those of a stalker."
- Bad Bunny goes onto ask the question of the existence of the Easter Bunny. How indeed would one know if said bunny even exsists? Who indeed, has even seen a photo of him. All we are shown are illustrations and imaginings. Who is to say, and this is the worst part, he is not a hare? Even Santa gets out and about a bit before Christmas you know.
- Bad Bunny has his likeness emblazoned upon reputable and quality product and indeed on a much adored website. Go to www.easterbunny.com and see where it gets you.
- Bad Bunny even has blogs written about him and scintillating comments on Facebook and other such modern social media. Why, he even once received a correspondence from the Royal Palace of Denmark. And Dannii Minogue is a big fan.
As we understand it Bad Bunny has been returned to the custody of Nanny Pickle and The Nursery Staff where he is now serving time on The Box of Contemplation.
Mrs Elspeth Harris, neighbour sharing the eastern boundary of The Nursery, had this to say: "This is right up there with last years attempt by Bad Bunny to impersonate the tooth fairy. It took me a month to get the glitter out of my rugs and the dental technician said my false teeth would never be the same again. Who is going to clean my rugs this time I ask you Nanny Pickle?"
The Easter Bunny representatives have declined to comment....just as Bad Bunny predicted!
Bad Bunny and Nanny Pickle at The Box of Contemplation....when will he ever learn?
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