As an embarrassing result of the Au Pairs recent foray into the retail world, we regret to inform those of you who have an endearing love for our Bunny of the mischievous kind that said Bunny has had a run in with the boys in blue.
Yes, I deceive you not. Our wee charge has fallen onto the wrong side of the law. (Well, it was only a matter of time and we believe the magistrate will exercise leniency).
You see, as is our wont, Au Pair Jennine (Au Pair Hired Out of Desperation) and myself (Au Pair Shannon aka Au Pair First Hired) were, unfortunately, rather vocal in the presence of a Bunny with rather large ears and a matching tummy on the subject of the faux pas of the fashion kind that are paraded before our very eyes when plying our trade in our little pop up stores.
(All in all, we sometimes get a tad concerned as to what indeed is deemed fashionable or even wearable in shopping centres. Underwear is called underwear for a reason people!)
As a result of our lack of subtlety, Bad Bunny felt the need to get legal advice from the top, from the thin blue line in fact, or if you are prone to watching Pay TV, he rang the cops. Oh yes, Bad Bunny got his little paws on Au Pair Jennine’s (Au Pair Hired Out of Desperation) iPhone when she left it lying temptingly on Nanny’s sideboard, and with said paws deftly poised, he did dial that number that contains naught but three zeros.
And so, the conversation unfolded (according to Police transcript):
Boys in Blue: “Emergency. How can we assist?”
Bad Bunny: “Good afternoon occifer (sic). Why no hello? Are you having a bad day? Nanny always told me to greet people with a friendly hello.”
Boys in Blue: “Do you have an emergency?”
Bad Bunny: “Well, I do indeed. May I please speak to an occifer (sic) from your Fashion Police Department?”
Boys in Blue: “What? We don’t have a Fashion Police Department. Young man, is this some sort of prank. You do realise we can charge you for wasting police time.”
Bad Bunny: “Occifer (sic), this is far from a prank. A very serious offence has been committed. Or so the Au Pairs say. You see I overheard them saying that there are people murdering style and it was about time the Fashion Police did something about it.”
Boys in Blue: “Please get off the line, boy! This number is for emergencies only.”
Bad Bunny: “Really? But clearly there is a need for Fashion Police. Maybe the Au Pairs and me could become fashion detectives. According to them they are all terribly stylish. And the Au Pairs are very good at telling people behind their backs that they really shouldn’t wear lycra. And I myself look terribly fetching in a uniform and I do so love to wield a baton.
Boys in Blue: “Is there an adult in the room with you? Put them on!”
Bad Bunny: “Well there is a giraffe. Will he do? He is terribly shy though.”
Boys in Blue: “I must insist you hang up the phone now!”
Bad Bunny: “Oh dear, you are having a bad day. You seem so terribly grumpy. Before I go, could I just ask you about capsicum spray? Is it some strange form of salad dressing? I hear it talked about on the news but it never seems to be mentioned in the same sentence as salad. And indeed if you are using capsicum as a way of thwarting villains, surely throwing a capsicum whole, rather than making a salad dressing of it would be far more helpful. And indeed, perhaps not a capsicum, but an overripe banana instead. Much more bang for your buck. Kind of a pie in the face effect with soft banana and then a banana skin on which to slip up said fiend. Two for one. It’s genius. Anyway, I digress…”
Boys in Blue: BEEP BEEP BEEP
Needless to say, Bad Bunny’s dialling rights have been revoked until further notice. And we, Au Pairs First Hired and Hired Our of Desperation have had a dressing down (not a salad kind either) from Nanny Pickle for filling Bad Bunny’s head with nonsense.